. I think... I'd like to talk about it; and some other things, too." Okay," she said in a small voice, her tension returning."I know... I know you still love Bobby. He's your first love, he's a good guy, and he's still your friend. I want you to know that none of that bothers me."Patty nodded, again relieved."I just want you to know that I'm okay with it. But... sometimes... I think you... that you hold back from me, Patty. I don't know how else to describe it. And I don't want to share some part of you... with Bobby, or anyone else, even if I don't know what that part is. I... I want all of you, Patty. Maybe I'm being a greedy selfish bastard. But that's how I feel." You're right, I guess," she admitted hesitantly. "Bobby is special to me. But you have to believe me, Morton. I truly do love you. And it's not 'more' love than I have for Bobby. I love you... differently. I connect with you on so many levels its scary sometimes. Bobby's been my image of what love is supposed to look. " We walked through the stacks, while he pulled out the different volumes of old articles on my list. I realized after a couple of minutes that he wanted to show off for me; to show strong he was by lifting and carrying all those books. Just the sort of dumb stunt I tried all the time as Alan to impress girls.We eventually got back to the table, and he put the books by my place. He went and got a couple reference books from one of the librarians and sat down across from me. "This way, I can look at you while I'm working. A pretty view makes the time go quicker."I smiled back at him and sat down. "I think so, too." What was I saying?We didn't say much of anything after that. Well, it was a library, after all. Besides, we both had work to do. I did look up once or twice and catch him staring at me and smiling kind of funny. And once he looked up, and I realized that I was looking at him. He smiled at that. He had a nice smile. I felt my cheeks get warm all of a sudden, and I buried my.
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